If I’m honest it’s taken me years to get comfortable in my own skin…. YEARS to feel happy with my body… years to accept my flaws . Having Grayson made me realise and appreciate how amazing the human body actually is.

For those who have been following me for awhile now I use to do lots of bikini competitions including IFBB competitions & man I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone…...What a total head fuck it was being on stage in a bikini being judged by judges… Why the hell did I ever think that was a good idea? It seriously mucked with my head and mental health for yearsssss and I’m finally at the stage where I feel I’ve recovered from those days!..

You need bigger glutes, you need bigger shoulders, you need to have a little less fat on your legs etc… Yep I get it now it’s obviously a competition where they are judging your body but why the hell would any woman want to go through that process and why did I ever think it was a good idea??

We are hard enough on ourselves let alone having others pick you apart.  I won some competitions and in some competitions I didn't win but after all of those competitions I never felt good enough and i would strive to be even better next time.  To be better meant even more restrictive lifestyle conditions. More cardio ,Less food, Only eating certain foods & Fat burners.  What I put my poor body through just to get a medal/trophy or approval from someone else giving me their opinion because thats all it really is is someones opinion on your body compared to some other Womans body.

Setting fitness goals has helped me massively recover from that time of my life and NOT setting body goals. Goals for me are about Being faster when I run and being able to Squat heavier its not about losing weight and its not about what I look like either... Squatting heavier naturally means bigger Glutes and enjoying running naturally means a healthier heart and body.

I struggled for years to have a good relationship with food. I went through phases of not eating much then having “cheat days” why the hell would you want to even think of eating food as a cheat day… food is fuel it keeps us going it’s not about saying this is good and that’s bad it’s just about eating a range of foods and having a good relationship with food. Don’t calorie count, don’t diet, don’t restrict yourself from what you love just fuel your body with a range of foods and eat when your hungry and stop when your full it’s that simple ...

If you want reassurance and confidence look at the girl in the mirror and tell her daily you love her and I promise you one day you’ll get there and be happy in your own skin.

If you are competing in a competition because you think it's going to make you ever feel good about yourself I assure you thats the wrong reason to do it. I no longer need to wear a bikini on stage and be compared to other woman because I am confident in my own skin and for me its not about losing weight/having abs/being shredded/having a rounded bum its about being just FIT, Healthy and enjoying the process of Fitness. 

If you look in the mirror everyday and are negative that’s what you’ll start to see...Your idea of perfect and my idea of perfect will also always look different and be different we aren’t robots replicas we are suppose to be different from one another and that’s what makes us beautiful...Focus on your fitness goals/life goals etc and health will come

Some girls probably are mentally healthy enough to compete and not be phased by opinions of the Judges but that girl was not me and its taking a long time to become the girl who no longer cares about opinions.
Jamie xx